Drug Dreams…and the Fear of Withdrawal

The clinic that dispenses my methadone holds multiple daily meetings and depending on the counselor and time of day, they can be pretty interesting. Last month the counselor asked us to raise our hands if we had ever had a drug dream. Almost everyone did, including me. I was surprised there were any at all…

“Opiate Detox”

When it came time to tell my mom that I was addicted to opiates enough that I was physically dependent and would go into withdrawal without twice daily use, I was terrified. Everyone else already knew. My little brother, my dad and my husband were all in similar stages of self destruction via opioid use;…

Opiates: Where I was…Part 2

I'm not sure why it's so important to me that I get my "pre-methadone" story out here in the blogosphere. I think it comes from the same concern that led me to write Chronic Pain During Methadone Maintenance. I'm afraid I'll appear as just some heroin or pill addict that complains about opioid prescriptions becoming…

Chronic Pain During Methadone Maintenance

(Warning: Long ass post ahead) As I start to populate my little site with pages & blog posts, I'm realizing that until more complete pieces of my personal story are revealed, I may appear to have a conflicting agenda or even like just another addict upset that the system has made it harder to get…

Pain Awareness Month

One of the Google topics I "follow" is "pain management", and because of the current scene regarding the opioid crisis, I come across stories about chronic pain sufferers vs. the CDC on a daily basis. My hope is that Pain Awareness Month will help shine a broader light on what chronic pain sufferers have been…

Opiates: Where I was the day I started methadone…

(Edit: this was actually all on my first "About the Liar" post, but I just kept writing and it got way too long. It's still too long, so I'm posting what I've typed and will do a "Part 2" next) My intake at the Frederick Institute was August 2nd, 2000. (Incidentally, my husband of just…